I feel guilty about something most of the time: Spending money on technology. Watching documentaries instead of cleaning my house. Having raw cookie dough, Fritos, and chocolate milk for lunch. (That one’s pure fiction, and you’ll never be able to prove otherwise.) Buying packaged salad and pre-cut watermelon. Napping. Leaving the dishes piled up for three days, hoping someone else will take care of them.

At this particular moment, I’m feeling guilty because on Monday, I’ll be spending $2800 on my dog. Today, I spent $400. Last night, I spent $300. Last week, I spent $130.

This all started the last week of September when I discovered Skittle was peeing blood, and it’ll end on Monday morning, when she has her left kidney removed. By the time this is over, I’ll have spent nearly $4000. On a dog.

Do you have any idea what else I could do with $4000? Through HomeFirst STL, I could house someone transitioning out of homelessness for a year. I could stock the pantry at The Bridge. I could help a single parent buy a car. I could give it to a program serving veterans or help an under-resourced college student with expenses. I could donate it to flood victims in SC or help finish an orphanage in Haiti. I could give it to any number of families I know who are trying to adopt children.

But, nope. I’m going to spend it on my dog, because if I don’t, she’ll die a slow and horrible death. If you’re judging me because that matters more to me today than the reality of human beings freezing and/or starving to death, I get it. I’m guilty as charged.

Stupid dog.

She’s ashamed of her diaper and refuses to look at the camera.